


for me it's always you

by helloearthlings



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Halloween, M/M, Magic Revealed, Modern Era, Scary Movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 14:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12583608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: “My mum and I watched horror movies together every October when I was a kid,” Merlin said, unfazed by the look on Arthur’s face. “I like them.”“I get to choose the movies,” Arthur said, not able to just agree without a fight. Merlin, damn him, looked as cheerful as ever as he leaned down to kiss Arthur again before moving away. Arthur missed him the second he was gone, even though he was just going to the kitchen, and it was somehow the most amazing and annoying thing all at once.





	for me it's always you

**Author's Note:**

> To call this a Halloween fic would be a complete overstatement, but it's Halloween-esque. Really just pure fluff with nothing scary about it, though. Also still super short - hopefully I can write something more meaty in the weeks coming up, because I've really missed fic.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it, and happy Halloween!

Merlin kissed Arthur hello in the doorway to his flat, and Arthur was surprised at the buoyant spring of happiness that he felt at such a simple gesture.

“Hi,” Merlin grinned as he pulled away. “You got my text?”

“I did,” Arthur said, not telling Merlin that the he felt a muted version of the same buoyancy whenever his phone buzzed, that he always hoped it was Merlin wanting to talk about something inane and boring but somehow wasn’t. “So what are your special plans for tonight?”

“Horror movie marathon,” Merlin said, looking far too happy for the words he just said. Arthur gave him a look.

“What?”

“I thought you liked _good_ movies,” Arthur said with a faux-suffering sigh as he shut Merlin’s door behind him and threw himself onto the sofa. He liked Merlin’s sofa; it was plaid and worn and always had a few blankets strewn around it. Arthur pulled one onto his shoulders. “Not crap that relies on gore and jump scares and terrible storytelling.”

“My mum and I watched horror movies together every October when I was a kid,” Merlin said, unfazed by the look on Arthur’s face. “I like them.”

“I don’t,” Arthur said, starting to feel just a little touch of dread. “They’re all so shit.”

Merlin’s face fell a little bit, and Arthur felt a much stronger surge of guilt. However, the look on his face grew a bit more mocking as he said “Are you scared?”

“No,” Arthur said a little too quickly, and a huge smile broke out on Merlin’s face. Arthur blushed under the attention as Merlin took a step toward him to reach out to smooth back his hair and look down at him with raised eyebrows. “It’s a movie, Merlin. Screens can’t hurt you. Didn’t they ever teach you that in primary?”

“Why else would you be protesting the very romantic evening I have set up for us?” Merlin asked, hands warm as he cupped Arthur’s cheeks to lean down and brush his lips against Arthur’s. Warmth ran down Arthur’s spine. “I even made my roommates get out and everything. What, you want me to sprinkle the DVDs with rose petals first?”

“Yes, romance,” Arthur said flatly, finding it harder and harder to keep sounding indifferent. “That’s what horror movies are all about.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the big, bad _screen_ ,” Merlin teased, but something in his voice, or maybe his words, made Arthur’s breath go short, his dread evaporating and being replaced by something else, something warm.

“I get to choose the movies,” Arthur said, not able to just agree without a fight. Merlin, damn him, looked as cheerful as ever as he leaned down to kiss Arthur again before moving away. Arthur missed him the second he was gone, even though he was just going to the kitchen, and it was somehow the most amazing and annoying thing all at once.

“Look through the stack on the coffee table while I get popcorn,” Merlin called over his shoulder.

Arthur leaned over the coffee table to see a rather impressive array of movies scattered across it. He tried to remember the last time he’d seen a horror movie. It had probably been his first year of university, when he’d been dating Vivian. He remembered her squealing all the way through the Conjuring; the memory made Arthur wince.

When Merlin returned to the sitting room, two overlarge bowls of popcorn in his hands, Arthur held out a movie.

“The Shining,” Merlin said appreciatively as he set the popcorn bowls down. “Always a good choice.”

“I figured Stephen King would be a little less unbearable than _Unfriended_ ,” Arthur said, voice dripping with disdain, and Merlin shoved his shoulder.

“That one’s Gwaine’s, thank you very much. I pooled all of our collective movies for you to choose from. The Shining is mine, by the way, which just adds to the romance of the evening. We’re just so compatible.”

“Shut up,” Arthur looked at his hands, trying not to blush, but when Merlin returned to the couch and put an arm around Arthur’s shoulder, Arthur threw his blanket around both of them.

For a while, it just felt like a normal date night, minus the odd interruptions from Merlin’s roommates. Gwaine and Lance were both good blokes, but Arthur got shyer around them; they were Merlin’s friends. Merlin, his first boyfriend, who he had a desperate kind of feeling for unlike any other – it was odd to have people as a witness to this, this odd fluttering sensation in Arthur’s chest.

Even right now, just watching Merlin crunch his popcorn, Arthur couldn’t help but feel some kind of way about it. It was a disquieting and unfamiliar feeling, one that Arthur didn’t want to go away.

When the first jump scare of the movie happened, the feeling prevented Arthur from realizing he needed to keep his feature stoic and unmoving; instead, he flinched, screwing his eyes shut, and squeezed Merlin’s hand, which had been sitting in his own.

Merlin smiled lazily over at him, in the brilliant way that he did, and his other arm slipped around Arthur’s waist.

Arthur thought vaguely that he should be more aware of the movie and when he needed to pretend not to be bothered, but instead, he leaned his head onto Merlin’s shoulder and buried it in his neck whenever he jumped.

“I didn’t ever used to do this,” Arthur found his mouth saying without his brain’s permission about midway through Carrie, the third movie on their roster. “I always hated horror because I felt like I couldn’t be scared.”

There’s something unsettling about the conceptualization of something he’s felt for years, but Merlin shifted to smile over at Arthur.

“It’s a horror movie,” he said, tilting his head. “I thought being scared was the point.”

Arthur shook his head. “Not with me – I wanted to be the bravest and the strongest. So when I’d watch horror movies with my girlfriends I’d never let myself flinch, even when I wanted to. I think that’s why I hate horror so much. But I don’t hate it right now.”

Merlin’s smile got gentler when Arthur nestled his head against Merlin’s chest. This was one of the things he would have never said to someone he was dating before, this admission of vulnerability, weakness.

“I’m glad you don’t hate it,” Merlin said, his eyes soft around the edges, one of his hands playing with little hairs at the top of Arthur’s spine, making him shiver. “You can be as scared as you want.”

“I think I was just…really concerned with being as manly as I could,” Arthur said, the thoughts formulating even though he’d never intersected them before. “With my girlfriends, but also with the guys I…dated is the wrong word. Hung out with. I’ve always been so worried about being seen as a man, or _the_ man, I guess, always trying to see myself from someone else’s point of view. But that doesn’t seem to matter with you. Especially when we’re alone. I don’t have to pretend to be anything.”

“I got that vibe,” Merlin said after a moment, his hand curling around Arthur’s neck. “It’s why I asked Gwaine and Lance to leave for tonight – you’re always different around them.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur’s face heated up slightly, but Merlin shushed him.

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s just – I want you to be comfortable. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to pretend, about anything. I want us to – I mean – Speaking of pretending…”

Merlin trailed off, and Arthur noticed that his face had changed. Instead of being relaxed and happy, the tension in his features grew, his body growing a little stiffer against Arthur’s.

Arthur pulled away, broken from his happy little reverie. “What’s the matter?”

Merlin sighed, and reached for the remote to pause the movie overtop a still of John Travolta. His lips were drawn tightly and his arms, no longer around Arthur, were clenched.

“Merlin…” Arthur started, an incessant worry growing in his chest that the pretending that Merlin talked about was Merlin pretending to like him. Merlin pretending that Arthur was special. Merlin pretending that their relationship meant something to him. Merlin pretending –

Merlin held out his palm, and a little flame danced on it.

For a moment, Arthur couldn’t connect the two in his head. Then, his eyes slowly widened with shock.

“How – how are you – how are you _doing that_?”

Arthur gaped at Merlin’s hand as the flame turned into a little dragon that danced across Merlin’s palm, flickering as it ran toward the television, breathing little embers from its lips.

“It’s kind of hard to tell someone on a first date,” Merlin giggled nervously as the dragon dissipated into the air. “I’ve been thinking about trying to find a way to tell you for a while, but I’ve been a little nervous – I mean, I still don’t know if you believe that I can do that, or if it’s too complicated for you, and god, telling you this while we’re watching _Carrie_ of all things –”

“So you can move things with your mind, too?” Arthur interrupted. Somehow, his shock had melted away in moments and was replaced with something warm and light. Of course Merlin could make flames out of thin air. Of course he could manipulate space and matter. Of course he was magical. It just made sense; he was so alluring, in the oddest way possible, so of course it had to be magic.

“You believe me?” Merlin’s nervous smile melted into a relieved one, and Arthur just laughed, shrugging helplessly.

“I feel stupid now, trying to sound like telling you why I don’t like horror movies was some kind of huge revelation,” Arthur shook his head, “when you actually had something _real_ to tell me.”

“No, no, it was real,” Merlin reached a hand out to grasp Arthur’s tightly. “It was about your insecurities and vulnerabilities and your notions about gender roles and – and how this is different. You and me, we’re different.”

“Understatement,” Arthur breathed, but clasped Merlin’s hand tighter all the same.

“I’ve never told anyone before,” Merlin smiled a little sadly. “I mean, some people have figured out something was off and confronted me about it – but I’ve never shown anyone like this before. I’m really glad I showed you, though.”

“I’m…” Arthur laughed, a little lost for words. “I’m glad I decided to watch horror movies with you. Even if I’ve always hated them – because with you, it’s different. It’s going to be different. It’s going to be…”

He trailed off, knowing what he wanted to say, but not the words to say it with. He wondered if there were words for a feeling like this – he could think of three, but somehow, he didn’t think that they could cover this monumental revelation of his.

“Yeah,” Merlin agreed, eyes earnest, and Arthur knew that Merlin felt it, too.

“You wanna keep watching Carrie?” Merlin said with a helpless little laugh, gesturing at the screen. “I promise I’ll never burn down the school and kill everyone inside, even if you do drop pig’s blood on me.”

“Why am I John Travolta in this scenario?” Arthur complained, and their normalcy settled in; the banter, the laughter, the feeling of being settled. Arthur was only twenty-two, hadn’t even graduated university yet. He never expected to feel settled like this. “Can’t I at least be your prom date?”

“You want to be dating someone else and then I murder you?” Merlin said dryly, the beginnings of a smirk on his lips, and Arthur frowned tetchily.

“I guess not,” he sighed dramatically and put his head back on Merlin’s shoulder as Merlin pressed play. “I don’t think you could ever kill anyone, magic powers or not.”

“Probably not,” Merlin said after a moment. “I don’t know if I could. I’ll probably never need to. But when I can do is protect you – from screens and from anything else that scares you. Alright?”

Something warm settled in Arthur’s stomach. He didn’t stop to analyze it, pick it apart, become anxious over its implications or how people might view it, or anything of the sort.

He locked his fingers with Merlin’s and said “Alright.”


End file.
